NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #51
The fiction continues
Hello and good afternoon. Today’s NMFO is so good, I bought myself a new outfit to celebrate.
Coming your way today:
Sob rock!
Naked lasso trickery!
Grunge-y pop efficiency
And, FICTIONAL BAND MADNESS, Part Deux!
I envy you, I truly do.
GOOD STUFF
Your handy-dandy Glossary of Terms.
Friko, “Where We’ve Been”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Where we’ve been, Where we go from here
Nutshell: Sensitivo indie
Voltage: 7
Thoughts: Friko reminds me of back when I imagined that my favorite artists understood me. You know, that masturbatory feeling you had in high school or college, when every song felt like a shortcut to self-actualization? Yes, Morrissey, every day is like Sunday—I’M ALWAYS SAYING THAT! Now too bitter for solipsism, I’m reduced to accepting “Where We’re Been” as a heartfelt indie ballad with a very pretty descending chord progression. But if I was 19? Hoo boy...
Pairing Suggestion: Swaying with your eyes closed (and hoping people notice you swaying with your eyes closed)
Beyoncé, “16 Carriages”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: act ii
Nutshell: Countryoncé
Voltage: 5
Thoughts: Here at NMFO, we pride ourselves in bringing you only the up-and-coiming-est of up-and-comers. In that spirit, I’d like to introduce you to a young singer-songwriter named Beyoncé (Bee-YAWN—say). Alright, bit complete. I love promoting obscure new artists, but this newsletter is primarily a document of what I’m listening to on a given week. And this given week, it’s one of the Beyonce’s new “country” songs. Of the two, "Texas Hold ‘Em” is the obvious “hit”—you’ll be hearing it at weddings for the next decade. But I prefer “16 Carriages” for its (relative) non-commerciality. Absolutely no one asked Beyonce for an oddly structured and mostly undanceable slo-motion stomp. In the age of parasocial “hives”, it’s cool to see a megastar leading her audience, rather than being captured by it.
Pairing Suggestion: Slow motion naked lasso trickery
Pouty, “Denial is a Heavy Drug”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon YouTube
Album: Forgot About Me
Nutshell: Punchy 90’s style alt-rock
Voltage: 7
Thoughts: Okay algorithm, you got me again. This album popped up in my Apple Music recs a couple of weeks back, clearly prompted by my love of Grunge-y female-fronted power pop bands like That Dog, Veruca Salt and (more recently) Charly Bliss. Pouty is led by Rachel Galliardi, formerly of lo-fi duo Slutever, a band I’d never heard of before last week. Based on four minutes of extensive research, Galliardi’s new band seems like a massive leap forward. Clocking in at 26 minutes, Forgot About Me offers up a slew of juicy hooks and never wears out its welcome. Behold, the power pop mandate: Get in, get stuck in my head, get out.
Pairing Suggestion: Squeezing into your old babydoll tees
Look, you knew I was going to ask:
First insightful comment gets a tasteful nude.
SOME BULLSHIT
Yeesh, what is that smell? Wow, that is pungent. It smells a bit like…
NMFO FICTIONAL BAND MADNESS!
As you may recall, we are currently engaged in a quest, sanctified by God, to identify the greatest fictional band in Film & TV history. In our first quarterfinal, we tackled comedy films, because…well, I just love to laugh!
Predictably, there were routs. But a couple of match-ups were real Steve Konracki Specials (aka “too close to call”). Voting will be open until the end of the quarterfinals, so if you you’d like to go back and play kingmaker, be my guest.
Today we’ll be looking at dramas. Well, mostly dramas, a couple of dramadies and a romcom or two. Care to refresh yourself on the small print?
Oh, and before you jump down my throat…
Notable Omissions
Solo artist Bad Blake (Crazy Heart) does not qualify.
As a man of near-constant sorrow, disqualifying The Soggy Bottom Boys was difficult. However, the traditional folk music in O Brother Where Art Thou clearly violates the “No pre-existing music” mandate. Sorry, I don’t make the rules1.
Ditto for The Ain’t Rights, from Green Room. The “pre-existing music” part, I mean. Do not watch Green Room expecting folk music. Or do. I dare you.
Without further uh-doo…
Division: FILM (DRAMA)
The Vegas Buzz: [Philip Seymour Hoffman voice] “Stillwater?!” Well, yeah. They kinda sucked and the film is not without it’s cornball moments (this is Cameron Crowe we’re talking about), but I’d wager that the majority of NMFO subscribers have seen Almost Famous upwards of five times. This is likely not true of Hearts Beat Loud, a movie you’re just now learning exists. For the record: not bad!
The Vegas Buzz: My Hedwig worship has been tediously documented, so I will simply add that Riz Ahmed learned to play drums for Sound of Metal and the man fucking goes for it.
The Vegas Buzz: “But wait,” you sputter, “the band in Velvet Goldmine played Roxy Music tunes, which means they’re disqualified!” Settle down, pal—the film also incorporates “originals” by Shudder to Think and Grant Lee Buffalo. “B-b-but”, you continue to sputter (seriously, what’s with the sputtering?), “Brian Slade was a solo artist!” Sure, as was David Bowie. But was Ziggy Stardust? You’re suggesting we erase Mick Ronson, Trevor Bolder and Woody Woodmansy? No, I didn’t think so. Standing in Brian/Maxwell’s way are the remarkable mullets of Joan Jet and Michael J. Fox.
The Vegas Buzz: “Falling Slowly” gets most of the attention (deservedly), but the studio scene where the unnamed Once band lays down “When Your Mind’s Made Up” is a top five fictional band moment. As for Dandi and Pandi…it’s a top five something? Seriously, look at this shit. Remember: just because we understand this to be comedy, that doesn’t mean the producers did! As of last week, I own The Apple on DVD and, yes, I have notes. Watch this space.
The Vegas Buzz: Buckaroo Banzai is a movie beloved of many people whose opinions I respect. But I must be honest: I’d respect their opinions even more if they didn’t love Buckaroo Banzai. I recently tried giving it another go, but seriously, what the fuck. For you Muggles out there (did I do that right?), Weird Sisters features members of Pulp and Radiohead (pro) performing a song entitled “Do the Hippogriff” (con).
The Vegas Buzz: My generally-positive feelings about Sing Street are a matter of public record. Still Crazy seems like a movie designed in a lab for my enjoyment, but it gives me a bit of “the ick”. Hey producers, you sure you want to go with “Strange Fruit” as your fictional band name? You don’t maybe wanna kick around other options?
The Vegas Buzz: If your kids ever ask, “What did the 80’s really look like?”, show them the end of Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives! As you may know, I’m lightly obsessed with not-actually-good film Rock Star, to the extent that I originally pencilled in Steel Dragon as a five-seed. Based on Rotten Tomatoes, not everyone shares my enthusiasm, so I adjusted their ranking accordingly. Philistines!
The Vegas Buzz: Did I slightly manipulate the seeding to ensure a Diane Lane vs. Diane Lane matchup? NO COMMENT. What these two films have in common is that they’re more interesting to talk about than to actually watch. Who will prevail in this battle of “Too many cooks in the kitchen” versus “Uh…anybody know a cook?”
Who have I forgotten? TELL ME, DAMMIT.
Okay, time to go bye-bye. Don’t let me stand in the way of you sharing this post.
See you in two weeks! As always, I thank you for your support.
I literally made the rules.
I haven't seen a single movie you mentioned in the polls. I'm sorry.
Really like the Friko track, feels like a new Bright Eyes song.