NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #49A
The righteous infallibility of youth
Greetings, Paid Subscribers (and those soon to hit the paywall)!
Today’s NMFO is extremely vibe-consistent—and a dangerous vibe, at that! Your ability to withstand the sheer crotch-throttling power of this week’s newsletter depends on how you process this photo.
Are you repelled? Terrified? Personally, I’m mesmerized. Knowing absolutely nothing about this band, let me take these guys one by one, going left to right:
BIG GUY: Five years older than everyone. Smells pungently of nicotine, beer and dried vomit.
POLA DOT PANTS GUY: Future algebra teacher. Deeply uncomfortable.
TALL, SKINNY KID: Nicest guy you could ever meet. Dies violently.