NEW MUSIC FOR OLD #26
NMFO is one year old, baby!
Hello again!
Big day, folks: New Music for Olds is officially one year old. Sound the trumpets! Bang the drums! Light the farts!
If you’ve been here since the beginning, thank you for your continuing support. If you came onboard more recently, welcome. People somewhere in the middle? Yeah fine, whatever.
(My life coach assures me that this is called “negging”.)
Let’s celebrate the momentous occasion with a Special Offer. For the next seven days, Paid Subscriptions are 20% off! Forever and in perpetuity!
Time to find out what you’re missing every other week. If you’re not a Paid Subscriber, you may have no idea what the world’s best air-drumming songs are, or what The Brenda Sound represents or what important historical moment is captured in this photo:
The answer to these questions countless others can be found in the blissful state known as NMFO Paid Subscribership. Click now, before it’s too late!
Onto this week’s newsletter. Specifically…
Churchfolk!
Art as its own reward!
Catharsis rock!
A one year anniversary bonus tune!
And, the perils of being a prodigy!
Gentlepersons, start your engines.
GOOD STUFF
Now more than ever, a Glossary of Terms
The Church, “C’est La Vie”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: The Hypnagogue
Nutshell: What we used to call “College Rock”
Voltage: 5
Thoughts: Like any sane person who came of age in the Eighties, I love “Under the Milky Way”. Enough to assume they probably have other songs I’d love. Funny how that works! But when it comes to The Church, apart from a few tunes, I’m mostly agnostic1. I didn’t expect much from this album, given that the band’s been around for 35 years and songwriter Steve Kilbey is the only original member. But fuck me if this doesn’t sound like a band with a lot to offer. The Hypnagogue is a concept album, but the “story” is so vague you won’t even know it’s there—rather, it gives the entire album an intriguing mystical quality. Mostly, I’m peeved that I now feel compelled to pore through the band’s 26 album discography. Not cool, The Church.
Pairing Suggestion: Driving alone at night, windows down (even though it’s too cold for it)
Arc Iris, “We Found Home”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: We Found Home
Nutshell: Avant garde synthpop
Voltage: 5
Thoughts: I wish there were more bands like Arc Iris—playful, innovative and unabashedly artsy-fartsy. Straddling the line between indie pop and experimental composition, this is music that keeps on giving—you can listen to an Arc Iris song 500 times and still hear new things. I once praised my wife as a person who “creates cool things just so cool things exist”, and that’s how I’d describe this artist, from their re-imagining of Joni Mitchell’s Blue to the their “sci-fi ballet” iTMRW, which I was robbed of seeing in 2020 (screw you, Covid). Will Arc Iris ever sell out arenas? Not likely. But it’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that art is its own reward.
Pairing Suggestion: A.I. first date
M83, “Us And The Rest”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Fantasy
Nutshell: Cathartic dream pop
Voltage: 4
Thoughts: If, like me, you were a fan of M83 in its salad days (2005-2012?) but then kinda lost interest, you’ll be pleased to know that Fantasy sounds like the band you fell in love with. Like the best M83 songs, “Us And The Rest” goes BIG. It feels like the soundtrack to some cathartic triumph of the human spirit, accompanied by tears of joy and perhaps a cleansing rain. Then again, it also sounds like an ad for some planet-killing multinational corporation, to be played over a montage of sunrises, blooming flowers and smiling children. Such is the duality of M83.
Pairing Suggestion: Epiphanies, real and faux
Wait wait, what is this…?
Whoa, it’s a ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY BONUS SONG!
Hammerhedd, “Fruition”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Nonetheless
Nutshell: Minimalist hardcore/metal
Voltage: 9
Thoughts: Caveat emptor: If you’re turned off by stuff like Helmet and Tool, this won’t do squat for you. And even if you’re into heavy music, save yourself some time by skipping to 2:20. What comes before is just ambient buildup. It’s cool, but it gives no indication what this band actually sounds like. Time is money, amiright? Honestly, you could skip to 3:20, if you’re super pressed for time. You might ask, why pick an eight-minute song when there are much shorter songs on the album? Because I like to be high maintenance. But also because the section around 5:20 rocks my every last ball off (which is crazy, given how many of my balls have already been rocked off by this point in the song). Oh, by the way, don’t google anything about this band just yet.
Pairing Suggestion: Preparing yourself for what I’m about to tell you about the band Hammerhedd.
Talk to me, Goose.
Your additional commentary is required:
SOME BULLSHIT
Even if you hated that Hammerhedd song, you might find this interesting.
First off, let’s be clear: Hammerhedd (sic) is an objectively silly name. Why does this ultra-earnest group, with its tightly coiled riffs and complicated time changes, sound like a joke band from an episode of “Boy Meets World”?
The answer, my friends, is extremely adorable:
Awwwwwww snookums! Band name explained!
Viewed through the eyes of a nine year-old (let alone a seven or four year old), Hammerhedd is the most bad-ass name of all time. I mean, it’s not just a shark, which would be cool enough. It’s head is…a hammer! Double neato!! Never mind that hammerhead sharks are relatively small and not particularly dangerous—the power of this moniker cannot be denied. HAMMERHEDD WILL ROCK THE GERALD FORD ELEMENTARY TALENT SHOW!
These adorable little tykes went viral in 2016, tearing through a bunch of early Metallica songs in a clip that made the social media rounds in 2016. Unlike most kids who get a taste of notoriety, they had the good sense to turn down novelty appearances on “Ellen” and “America’s Got Talent”—solid management, Mom! What they did do is earn goodwill from actual metal fans. Take a bow, internet—every once in a while, you get one right.
Fast forward to 2023 and imagine: You’re in an up-and-coming band. You’re serious musicians, playing brutal, complicated music. Your new album is getting buzz on all the heavy metal blogs and in extremely prestigious music newsletters (shut up). You’re touring the world. Legendary artists are talking about you. The world is your oyster! Oh, one small thing: You’re stuck with the name you came up with in 4th Grade, while writing a book report on All About Sharks.
Honestly, these kids got lucky—they could’ve ended up as Poopiefarrtz or Chickennugggts.
The friendly Substack bot just informed me that we’re “near email length limit”, so let’s close up shop for this week. Again, I want to thank you for reading NMFO this past year. I’m really enjoying writing these—it’s been a great escape. My goal for Year Two is to attract enough eyeballs that it starts to feel like a destination.
To that end, please share this post with your friends and ex-lovers. Until next time, suckas!
Yep. I know.
I don't know much about The Church (I just learned they're Australian??) but I do know "Unguarded Moment" is one of my favorite songs.
Oh well. I guess we'll never be friends.