NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #19
This bird ain't gonna overcook itself
Howdy, pilgrims.
It’s Thanksgiving, the day when we come together to take out our righteous anger on the turkey population. Don’t tell me they don’t deserve it.
Today’s NMFO contains a couple of poll questions, so make sure you do your part. On the docket:
15 inspired seconds
A Grunderkind, all growed up
Something you definitely haven’t heard before
Thoughts on “funny” rap names
And…a complete waste of your time!
Shall we?
GOOD STUFF
Ooh look, a Glossary of Terms.
Hemlocke Springs, “girlfriend”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: girlfriend (single)
Nutshell: Joyful laptop pop
Voltage: 5
Thoughts: Well it finally happened: I discovered a song via TikTok. How do you do, fellow kids? This wisp of a tune is goofy, childish and just about perfect. Springs has an endearingly arch vocal delivery—like a Gen Z Dale Bozzio, kinda sorta? Check out the inspired little “post chorus” (or “middle eight” or “bridge” or whatever) that comes around 1:30. It’s not even fifteen seconds, but it holds the promise of a genuinely idiosyncratic artist. Time will tell. Sorry for crashing your party, kids.
Pairing Suggestion: Bonding with your tweens.
Blinker the Star, “Some Nights”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Love Oblast
Nutshell: Warm Alt-rock
Voltage: 6
Thoughts: In the mid/late 90s, Canadian multi-hyphenate Jordan Zadorozny was pegged as a Grunge wunderkind (Grunderkind?). And make no mistake, he (aka Blinker the Star) should have been huge; I’m listening to 1996’s A Bourgeouis Kitten and it still kicks ass. After a decade-plus working mostly as a producer, Zadorozny/Blinker got back to releasing music at a brisk pace in the mid-2010’s. The sound has mellowed (my closest descriptor is “AM Gold in space”), but the songs are always catchy and the production is magnificent. “Some Nights” has a driving Krautrock vibe—remove the vocals and this could be Neu! or even Stereolab.
Pairing Suggestion: Chugging down the highway, not another car in sight
Backxwash, “Kumoto”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: His Happiness Shall Come First Even Though We Are Suffering
Nutshell: Industrial metal-infused rap
Voltage: 8
Thoughts: If there are artists remotely like Backxwash, I’m not aware of them. Sure, there’s the biographical stuff: Zambian-born, Montreal-based, trans. And there’s the look, which is…striking. But none of that would matter (in the context of this newsletter) if the music wasn’t so arresting. Backxwash combines hip hip with industrial metal, a la Godflesh or Nine Inch Nails at their noisiest. This isn’t for the faint of heart, so if you work at a daycare or one of those shops that sells Christmas ornaments, best not to throw this on your in-store playlist.
Pairing Suggestion: Serial killing, or escaping from a serial killer
Let’s try something new:
SOME BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT, Part I
I have no data to back this up, but every Gen X White dude has, at one point, joked about having an ironic rap name. For some of us, it was a go-to “bit”. We didn’t actually listen to hip hop—that would be preposterous. No, this was just a hilarious one-liner you could pull out whenever, say, “Puff Daddy” came up in conversation. “Hey, you know what my rap name would be…?” Hold for laughter. Subtle condescension disguised as self-deprecation.
Why bring this up? Mine was “DJ Backwash”.
I don’t consider this some grievous racial offense. Misdemeanor, at worst. Even now, funny rap names are…well, funny. I still chuckle at my best friend calling himself “MC Escher”. But in hindsight, I recognize it as evidence that we (White, rock-centric Gen Xers) didn’t see how quickly the ground was shifting beneath our feet. By the 90s, most of us understood that Hip Hop was no longer ‘niche’, but I certainly never fathomed that it would become Pop Culture’s majority shareholder. It’s like the Ghandi quote: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” Guys like me were at the tail end of the “laugh” stage. Glad I pried open my mind a bit before those feelings started to curdle.
Change happens slowly, and then seemingly all at once. My late brother Bobby was eight years behind me and it would not have occurred to him that having a rap name was in any way comical. An Eminem early adopter, he actually participated in a couple of rap battles under the name Flatline, which strikes me as an undeniably great rap name. A bit on-the-nose, as it turns out, but what are you gonna do.
Point is, as much as I enjoy her music, calling yourself Backxwash is kinda goofy.
Okay, now’s the part where you reveal your fake rap name. Don’t pretend you didn’t have one.
BULLSHIT, Part II
Speaking of band names (a small obsession of mine, if you haven’t noticed), I’m reminded of a game I used to play in the days of Ye Olde Blogspot (Tower of Hubris fans, where you at? Oh, nowhere whatsoever? I see.)
It was a simple exercise: I’d flip through a newspaper, drop my finger down onto a random cluster of words and and then conjure up an imaginary band—what type of music they played, an album title, etc.
To wit, here’s a rewritten list of fake bands pulled from the pages of an old NY Daily News:
Off-Color Crack
Sounds Like: Murphy’s Law, A.C.
Classic Album: The Soggiest Biscuit
Radical Departure
Sounds like: Weather Report, Chick Corea Elektric Band
Classic Album: Passage to Nightside
Damaged Building
Sounds like: Bright Eyes, Sufjan Stevens
Classic Album: Your Eyes Tumble Like a Dying Bird and Still I Cannot
These Corporate Leaders
Sounds Like: Devo, Man or Astroman?
Classic Album: You Will Obey These Corporate Leaders
Slice of 700M Pie
Sounds Like: Jellyfish, The Posies
Classic Album: Starwater Taffy
Status Crystal
Sounds Like: Dream Theater, Opeth
Classic Album: Time Schythe: The Age of Becoming (Geomysticles Chronicles, Pt. II)
Terms and Conditions
Sounds Like: Skrewdriver, Hatebreed
Classic Album: By Force
Okay, be honest…
Alright, this bird ain’t gonna overcook itself. Share this bad boy, wontcha please?
Paid subscribers, see you next week. Everyone else, let's meet back here on 12/7. Have a great Thanksgiving! Tell your mom I want my t-shirt back.
It's a waste of a great name, for sure.
I recently changed my fake rap name to Young Alex Trebek, as you well know.