NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #25

Like a water balloon full of peasant blood

We’ve done it! NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS has reached #25, which means this newsletter has passed the final threshold of Adulthood (car rental). How exciting! Ahhh, to think how I’ve changed since we first started…

Were we ever so young?

Today, for your multi-sensory enjoyment:

• Faces, melted

• Getting around to Ron Sexsmith

• Mosh pit memories

• A trivial endorsement

• Heady times for theater kids

• And, the closest my wife and I will ever get to releasing a sex tape

Commence enjoying.

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GOOD STUFF

2023 is officially in full swing, new music-wise. There are at least seven new songs I’m loving right now, including tracks by Boygenius, M83 and New Pornographers. Given the surplus, I’m giving credence to albums that have been released in full, rather than advance singles. Expect to see those aforementioned artists in the near future. Do you care about any of this? Not likely! But I’ve started typing and I don’t know how to end this paragraph. This is awkward. Oh god Finnegan, you’re doing it again. How am I going to end this paragraph? I should literally just sto

Sorry you had to see that. Is now a weird time to suggest upgrading to a Paid Subscription?

Hey look, it’s three cool songs I like! Glossary of Terms, anyone?

Screaming Females, “Titan”

Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music

• Album: Desire Pathway

• Nutshell: Fuzzy guitar rock

• Voltage: 7

• Thoughts: If you read a lot of contemporary music writing, you’ll know that any guitar player who’s taken more than six weeks of YouTube lessons “shreds” and that every solo must be described as “face-melting”. Yes, I know—Abe Simpson, old man, cloud. But my issue is only that lazy hyperbole tends to obscure true face-melters, like Screaming Females’ Marisa Paternoster. The band’s sound has matured over the years, with tighter songs and some studio polish. And Paternoster reigned in her vocal affects, which had been an obstacle when I’ve recommended this band to friends in the past. But guitar tastiness will always be the main attraction with this artist. “Titan” is actually restrained by Screaming Females standards, but the closing solo is some crispy fucking bacon.

• NOTE: “Crispy bacon” is a term I came up with(?) in high school to describe a great guitar playing. It has never caught on.

• Pairing Suggestion: Resurrecting that Air Guitar Championship thing

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Mmmm, smell the 2005

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Ron Sexsmith, “Flower Boxes”

Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music

• Album: The Vivian Line

• Nutshell: Chamber pop

• Voltage: 3

• Thoughts: Why have I never listened to Ron Sexsmith? I’ve heard his name since college, and always in conjunction with artists I love, like Elvis Costello, Aimee Mann and Badly Drawn Boy. Heck, Sexsmith’s debut album was produced by Mitchell Froom, one of my contemporaneous faves. If there’s a Ron Sexsmith Demo, I’m squarely in it. So what’s the deal, Me? This is some Grade A songwriting, asshole (That’s me talking to me, btw). The guy sings like a beautiful bird, and the lyrics? Tasteful and understated, ya jagoff (again: me, not you)! You coulda been a fan all this time! DO BETTER. (Okay, that one was aimed at you. You should’ve made me to listen to Ron Sexsmith).

• Pairing Suggestion: Sitting in a garden on the first day of Spring

External monlogue

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Negative Blast, “Egghead”

Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music

• Album: Echo Planet

• Nutshell: Punk/Hardcore

• Voltage: 8

• Thoughts: Lord knows why fifty straight hardcore bands will do absolutely nothing for me, but the fifty-first one kicks me hard in the nuts. One of life’s scintillating mysteries. In the case of Negative Blast, it may be some combination of the following: 1) There’s a real groove here, 2) The drummer appears to be using a cowbell or woodblock, which is hilarious 3) There’s a musicality to the way this shouter shouts—“in key", I guess? And, 4) “Egghead” reminds me of “(You Gotta) Fight for your Right (to Party)”, only with fewer parentheticals.

• Pairing Suggestion: Remembering the 8-12 times you were in a actual “pit”

“Soooo how did Brendan pop the question?”

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Okay, judgment time.

Explain yourself!

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QUICK ENDORSEMENT

I mentioned this last week in the Paid-Only NMFO, but I recently participated in “Music Trivia with Shane and Mike”, a very fun bi-weekly Zoom event hosted by NMFO readers Mike Heyliger and Shane Gasteyer.

It’s super casual and everyone involved seems to be a non-weirdo. Anyone who regularly attends pub trivia nights understands why it’s important this is established. The game is also challenging—I went in cocky and had my ass handed to me. I can’t be expected to identify Hal David and Lil Uzi Vert, folks.

I can’t be there tomorrow night (the game goes down every other Thursday), but I’ll be back soon for sure. Join me/them! Check out their Facebook page or go ahead and fill out a sign-up sheet!

No Finchies allowed

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SOME BULLSHIT

Back in NMFO #20, I mentioned a musical revue produced by my friend Debbie Chou’s, wherein I sang a couple of tunes. Last week, Debbie hosted another one of her curated piano karaoke extravaganzas, and I once again weaseled my way onto the bill.

The venue this time was QED Astoria, the performance space owned and operated by my indefatigable wife. So you could say I have an in. Turning in a memorable performance at a venue where you regularly unclog the toilets can be a challenge, but I gave it my most. The night’s theme was “Breakup Songs” and my first selection was Joe Jackson’s “Breaking Us in Two”. I don’t have a recording and I wasn’t super thrilled with it, blah blah blah. Not important.

Of primary importance, however, is the 1980’s Broadway musical Les Miserables.

Many of you will recall that Les Mis mania landed on the 1980’s like a water balloon full of peasant blood. As a self-loathing theater kid, I witnessed the impact firsthand. I saw the best minds of my drama club generation destroyed by Jean Valjean. And not only corrosively enthusiastic teens! My father was obsessed and the Original Broadway Cast Recording was a car stereo mainstay. Not that I minded. For me, it was the ideal set up—I could spend all weekend humming along from the backseat, then go to play rehearsal on Monday and roll my eyes at my castmates bellowing those exact same songs.

Sure, some of it was me being a standard 9th grade phony. But it’s also that Les Mis fandom always came off cultish and, to use a sociology term, icky. Looking back with a 2023 lens, it felt like maybe my first interaction with we now call “toxic fandom,” except sub out toxicity for excessive earnestness

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. That show was like musical theater gamma rays, designed to trigger latent theater kid insufferability. Or maybe I was just an ass. Right or wrong, I felt marginally opposed to the cultural phenomenon known as Les Miserables, even while appreciating the music itself.

Official uniform of the most tedious chorus member

My wife has no such hangups. Despite never having been in a musical (she did a ton of straight theater), Kambri could listen to Les Miserables, in its entirety, every day for a year and still want ONE DAY MOOOORE! She knows her Red (the color of desire) from her Black (the color of despair). She even seems to enjoy “Castle on a Cloud”, which is a top ten annoying song of all time. The Les Mis soundtrack has once again become a roadtrip standard, to my only-occasional chagrin (she prefers the London cast, despite the clear superiority of the Broadway version).

We even duet, occasionally. Mind you, none of that lame-ass Marius/Cosette shit. We’re no saps! No, we do the scene where Valjean comes out of hiding to face his nemesis, Inspector Javert. It’s a fun to sing and Kambri and I are not the first people to have amused ourselves thus.

All of this is to say, Kambri and I whipped out “The Confrontation” at QED last week. I submit it here for your enjoyment.

Oh, you’d like to compliment my honeyed baritone? I shan’t deny you:

We’re just about done here, but if you’re desperate for more Les Mis content, here’s a mostly convincing

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diatribe on the sins of the 2012 film:

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With that, NMFO #25 is officially in the books.

Paid Subscribers, I will see you next week. The rest of youse, I’ll see you in a fortnight for the NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA

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As always, thanks for reading. Please share this post with the greater universe!

1. Yes, I know it still exists.

2. The same basic dynamic played out with Hamilton.

3. The film strives for intimacy, which explains some of the choices. But the guy has a point.

4. Something I just thought of but am now committing to, apparently.