NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #52
Equally irrelevant to contemporary pop culture discourse
But, soft! What light from yonder inbox breaks? It’s NEW MUSIC FOR OLDS #52, coming “atcha”.
On the docket:
The pros and cons of a funny band name
Three cheers for Stockholm Syndrome
The ear-wormiest song you’ll hear this week
And, FICTIONAL BAND MADNESS moves to the small screen
Let the rituals commence.
GOOD STUFF
Your Glossary of Terms.
Pelvis Wrestley, “Act2ualize”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: ANDY, or: The Four Horse Girls of the Apocalypse
Nutshell: Indie art pop (I guess?)
Voltage: 6
Thoughts: You think I’m scrolling past something like Pelvis Wrestley without clicking play? Not likely. Of course, funny band names inspire skepticism, so it cuts both ways. Luckily, this baroque art pop clears the bar! Bratty and arrogant, “Act2ualize” sounds like Of Montreal1 collaborating with Perfume Genius, for those to whom those words mean anything. It’s a particular vision, executed well, with the songwriting chops to balance out the band’s more gimmicky elements. The Reverend William Archer Spooner would be proud!
Pairing Suggestion: Military parade of McDonaldland characters
El Perro del Mar, “In Silence”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Big Anonymous
Nutshell: Ambient synth pop
Voltage: 4
Thoughts: Big Anonymous is unfortunately-named Swedish songwriter Sarah Assbring’s first album in eight years. If you’re a fan of Portishead, Goldfrapp or Kate Bush, you’re gonna want to break out the good headphones. Maybe don’t bother hitting play if you’re busy scrolling or sorting laundry or whatever. But if you’re able to dim the lights and let these elegiac (and often creepy) waves of sound wash over you, “In Silence” is an intensely gratifying listening experience. Treat yourself.
Pairing Suggestion: Freezing to death
Faye Webster, “He Loves Me Yeah!”
Listen on Apple Music // Listen on Amazon Music
Album: Underdressed at the Symphony
Nutshell: Mellow indie rock
Voltage: 5
Thoughts: When last we left Faye Webster, she was doing “Disney-inspired orchestral pop”, but now she’s back doing her mid-tempo indie rock thing. Wilco vibes abound on Underdressed at the Symphony, aided in part by the presence of guitarist Nels Cline. The whole album goes down easy, but I thought I’d tempt fate by highlighting its ear-wormiest track. Love this or hate it (hopefully the former), you will likely have “He Loves Me Yeah!” clanging around your skull like loose change in the dryer.
Pairing Suggestion: Top-down driving, even though it’s not quite warm enough
And now, use your words.
By the way, I need to justify this newsletter’s role in my life, financially speaking. I love writing it, but I also love…income.
Grovel concluded. Moving on?
SOME BULLSHIT
No need for formalities, it’s…
NMFO FICTIONAL BAND MADNESS, Pt. III
This field of sixteen was harder to seed than the movie rounds, given that impossible vastness of the TV landscape. Also, I spent the Nineties as one of those “I don’t even own a television” guys, so I’ve probably ranked certain shows too high, others too low etc.
The important thing to remember is, whether you grew up watching the Partridge Family or glued to Nickelodeon, time has rendered us equally irrelevant to contemporary pop culture discourse. Embrace it!
Here’s Part I and Part II, by the way.
Division: TELEVISION
The Vegas Buzz: I almost nixed the Partridges for the same reason I did the Monkees—namely, the Partridges had radio hits. But they never toured or even learned to play (David Cassidy notwithstanding). Following a secret tribunal, the NMFO council of elders has deemed the Partridge Family “appropriately fictional”. For those who missed the Bobby Cannavalaissance, Vinyl was a mostly terrible show I’d have watched for one hundred years.
The Vegas Buzz: As a Brady completist, you could not have convinced me these tracksuits weren’t the world’s coolest lewk2. I know diddly squat about “The Adventures of Pete and Pete”, but this seems like some Grunge era wholesomness. Plus, I once did a live show with Danny Tamberelli and he seemed like a good dude.
The Vegas Buzz: “Saved By The Bell” was garbage. Not even “so bad it’s good” garbage. I mean honestly, what is this horse shit? Wouldn’t you rather pick a scrappy underdog, like MTV’s boy-band parody? Wouldn’t you feel better about yourself? Hey, it’s your vote—use it as you see fit. Just know I’ll be judging you.
The Vegas Buzz: I understand that many are fascinated by the romantic entanglements of Fleetwood Mac. I am not one of them—it’s a bit of a pet peeve, to be honest. So I’ve been in no great rush to watch the fictionalized version, despite the talent involved,. Critics seem…whelmed? I’ve probably seeded Karma Rocket too high, but I love “Party Down” (and this scene) so very dearly. Would embedding a clip be me putting my thumb on the scale? Fuck it, I regret nothing!
The Vegas Buzz: In this house, we believe in Girls5eva. And it’s now on Netflix, so if you love “30 Rock” and “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, this show is worthy of your time. Crucifictorious was, for those with short memories, Jesse Plemons’ Christian metalcore band on “Friday Night Lights”. Were they good? Nope. But I’ve always respected that FNL made Crucifictorious genuinely terrible, rather than just “TV terrible”.
The Vegas Buzz: This “Full House” clip is proof that you can upload a wet fart and weirdo YouTube commenters will claim that it is, in fact, the greatest song of all time. “Family Ties” coincided with my prime raised-by-television years, but I guess I’d moved on by the time Jennifer (everyone’s fifth-favorite Keaton) joined a synth pop band(?).
The Vegas Buzz: “Arrested Development” is “Game of Thrones”, in the sense that its shambolic end made everyone forget how mostly-fantastic it was. On the other side of the spectrum…have have you ever seen the “Shasta McNasty” pilot? Like, actually watched it? I dare you. No seriously, I DARE YOU.
P.S.: Nathan Rabin wrote the definitive breakdown of this cultural snot-rag. 100% worth checking out.
The Vegas Buzz: “Lost” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”: two beloved shows of which I am completely ignorant! Well, not quite—thanks to my time at “Best Week Ever”, I know about the Smoke Monster and the hatch and Locke being an asshole or whatever. As for Buffy, I saw the Kristy Swanson movie, as was the style of the time, but I’ve been told (repeatedly and breathlessly) that they’re not the same thing.
Who did I miss? SPEAK, DAMN YOU, SPEAK!
That’s all for today. Next week we wrap up our quarterfinal matchups, with the not-at-all-awkward category of “Animation, Puppets and Parody!”
As always, I thank you for your support.
In defiance of the Indie Rock Style Guide, I have opted to capitalize the the O in “of Montreal”. Take it up with your god.
Is “lewk” still a thing?
Has anyone here heard the new album by The Last Dinner Party? They're an all-girl group from the UK that sounds like a mix of Kate Bush, Siouxie & The Banshees, Florence & The Machine, Annie Lennox, Abba and Sparks. I've been keeping their new album on HEAVY rotation for the past month and I just can't stop listening to it. If you're into theatrical girl rock groups with an 80's UK sound, I HIGHLY recommend you check them out!
Only just got round to this week's selection and it was totally worth the wait! El Perro del Mar will be in heavy rotation this week! I won't be "freezing to death" but I reckon I'll get a lot out of it regardless! Many thanks!